Common Christmas Stress Factors – What Can Be Done?
The classic Andy Williams song reminds us that it is “the most wonderful time of the year”. However, if that’s true, why do so many of us find that we are totally stressed out when it comes to Christmas?
Here are some of the most common Christmas stressors – and what to do about them.
Facing all those people
If you’re shy, or struggle with something like social anxiety disorder, having to see so many people; whether it be in the busy shops, crowds on the streets and stations, or attending parties and seeing friends and family; can be a challenge. Christmas can bring on a sense of panic, and a strong desire to ‘just hide under the duvet’ for many.
First thing’s first; you’re not alone if you suffer with social anxiety. Secondly, you really do not have to see anyone if you don’t want to. But avoiding people ‘out and about’ can be pretty impossible if you need to leave the house in order to get to work or shopping.
Christmas can be fun, so make this year THE year that you refuse to be a victim of social anxiety, and seek help to get this issue sorted. Like so many anxieties, there’s plenty that can be done to help you overcome them. One or two sessions with a specialist may be all you need to really enjoy Christmas.
Christmas can be lonely
One of the first, and biggest fears that people often have at Christmas, is the fear of being lonely.
Many people find themselves single at Christmas, and if this has ever happened to you, have you noticed, that maybe you were perfectly fine being single in March. But when it comes to December, you start to notice people as ‘couples’ and you start to wonder why you are single.
On the flip side, more and more people couple up together, and break up once Christmas is over – again, avoiding the fear of being single.
When you find your mind wandering to ‘but really, should I be single?’ tell yourself that for every single person out there, there’s someone in a relationship who feels equally lonely. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Dealing with ‘family’
Many people dread Christmas because of having to spend lots of time with their family. This year, do yourself, and your family, a favour and tell them that you plan to restrict your time with them as you feel like having some ‘me time’. You’re in control of how much time you spend with them, so set your boundaries, before you hit the season.
If you really CAN’T avoid spending a lot of time with the family, make sure that you pencil in lots of ‘me breaks’ – a long bath, a walk alone, sit and read a book, a drive. Find time to be on your own a little, to put things back into balance and perspective.
How much to spend…
Many of us spend way too much at Christmas, more than we can afford, and a lot of it on credit. Give what you can afford, and it’s quite acceptable these days to let people know that you’re only going to spend so much – do them a favour, chances are they are worrying about the same thing as you are. Set a budget, OR tell people that this year you won’t be spending, and would prefer to give a donation to charity.
Who do I send a card or present to?
You didn’t plan on sending a card to your neighbour but they’ve sent one to you. Or, you didn’t even think about buying a present for your friend in the office, but she says ‘wait until you see what I got you’.
Now, not only are you worried about how much you can afford to spend this Christmas, you’re also finding it increasingly hard to budget. How can you budget when you don’t know who to buy for?
Plan who you WANT to buy for, and then tell everyone else, that you’re not buying many presents, and plan to donate to charity. It only becomes awkward if you’re unclear about things.
The weight factor. Who ate all the pudding.
You spent all of November on a diet, and then December arrives, and before you know it, you feel like you have eaten a month’s worth of food in one sitting.
One way to tackle this is to plan your menu BEFORE Christmas, and allow yourself a certain number of treats per day. Then, stick to that. If you start thinking ‘I can’t’, are you really saying that you have no self control? If that’s the case, then maybe you need to look at what your issues are with food and seek some help to resolve them?
In some ways it’s normal to stress about Christmas. But if the festive season highlights some issues for you, consider seeing a therapist who specialises in tackling fear, stress and worry, and can instil a more confident mindset.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christopher Paul Jones is a leading Harley Street phobia expert. Having overcome his own phobias, Christopher’s culmination of over 20 years of research across Europe, North America and Asia is an integrated approach combining mainstream psychology with cutting edge techniques: The Integrated Change System™. The system aims to change the mind’s danger response and leave people free and happy to enjoy things they once found terrifying. A fear, anxiety or phobia can be cured in as little as a session. Christopher’s clients come from all over the world and include Hollywood actors and Oscar nominees, models, musicians, presenters and celebrities.