Lonely Hearts Pay a Price

Lonely Hearts Pay a Price

February 10, 2025

Norton, a leading consumer Cyber Safety brand of Gen, has uncovered that Brits in search of love are at risk of finding online dating scams instead – especially navigating widespread loneliness in the age of AI. According to the latest Norton Cyber Safety Insights Report: Online Dating Edition, 81% of UK online daters who were victims of dating scams had lost money – an average of more than £1,008. Today’s dating pool is racked with uncertainty. A majority of current online daters in the UK (54%) have encountered suspicious profiles or messages at least once a week, with nearly a third (30%) being targeted by an actual scam. In fact, Norton threat data shows 47% more dating scam attacks were blocked in the UK in 2024 than the year prior.

The Cost of Loneliness

Loneliness is cited as a key reason why some Brits are willing to gamble with their personal data and money in attempts to connect with someone online. The majority (83%) of survey respondents say they experience loneliness, while over a third (36%) of 18 to 24-year-olds admit that loneliness leads them to make risky decisions when it comes to online dating, increasing their vulnerability to scams.

Dating Coach, Hayley Quinn, commented, “It’s unsurprising that 83% of respondents say they experience loneliness: In a post-pandemic, digital world, loneliness is an epidemic. Whilst seeking a romantic partner may feel like the logical next step to solve loneliness, doing so too hastily can leave someone open to disappointment and potentially even risk.

“If you’re experiencing loneliness, instead of putting all your eggs into the romance basket, use this as a sign to build your wider social life, resilience and confidence instead. Ultimately this will empower you to date broadly and figure out who is right for you, rather than falling for the first person who sends you a nice message online.”

Dating Distorted: The Age of AI

The rise of AI has also introduced new implications and challenges to online dating, which is already shrouded in ambiguity. Over half (62%) of Brits who currently use a dating app admitted they would not be able to identify an AI-generated photo or voice message or determine if they were talking to an AI bot. And yet, more than a quarter (27%) of 25 to 34-year-olds who experience loneliness said they would willingly interact with an AI chatbot if they were feeling lonely.

Meanwhile, some are welcoming AI into their own dating repertoire. Of those who are currently using dating apps, 56% would use AI to help them develop their profile, 63% would use it to write a pick-up line, 49% would use it to practice flirting and – if they could – 44% would even use AI to go on virtual dates for them as a proxy.

“As AI becomes more ingrained in how people interact and present themselves online, it’s critical to recognize both its benefits and the ways it can be manipulated by bad actors,” said Leyla Bilge, Director of Scam Research Labs for Norton. “With online dating offering more ways to connect than ever before, it’s also giving scammers more opportunities to exploit people. This rise in suspicious profiles and scams underscores the need for caution. Common red flags include people who avoid video or phone calls, profiles with inconsistencies between their bio and their messages or attempts to rush emotional connection or push for personal details too quickly.” 

Norton’s top tips to help consumers stay safe while online dating:

Call in for backup. Educate yourself on the resources and tools available to protect yourself. Products such as Norton Genie, a free, AI-powered scam detection app can help identify suspicious texts, emails or web links and warn of potential malicious activity.

Ask for a phone call or video chat to help verify the identity of the person that you’re talking to.

Do your homework on your potential sweetheart. Check their social media for bare profiles or no connections. You can also reverse image search to see if their photos are on other sites by right clicking their photo.

Don’t visit links sent to you by people you haven’t talked to for very long. AI scams target people based on their interest and online presence, and scammers will try to get their target to click on links, usually leading to porn or webcam sites, and or even malicious sites that download malware onto your computer.

Be cautious about what you upload or post online. The more scammers know about you, the more they know how to lure you, especially with the help of AI. If you notice that the conversation you’re having seems a bit off, or the person isn’t answering your questions directly, chances are it’s an AI bot.

Dating Coach Hayley Quinn’s Top Tips

Friends > Lovers

36% of 18–24-year-olds admit that loneliness leads them to make risky decisions when it comes to online dating. If you’re experiencing loneliness, instead of looking for one perfect person to solve how you’re feeling (and leaving yourself vulnerable to scams in the process); focus on the longer-term goal of building your social circles. Great friendships not only meet a lot of our social needs, they also provide a sounding board for assessing potential relationships and a brilliant channel to meet people. It’s tempting to want to skip this organic process of meeting people, and ‘cut to the chase’ by seeking a relationship. However, nurturing friendships will offer invaluable support in navigating, and overcoming, loneliness – more so than romantic relationships.

Build Strong Social Habits

Loneliness can feel more acute if you spend the majority of your time alone and at home. Building relationships online may feel easier, but real-world relationships and interactions are important for our overall wellbeing. Notice when you feel that twinge of loneliness and instead of burying your feelings in social media, use this as a cue to get out of the house! Simple habits like working from a coffee shop once a week, taking classes at your local gym and aiming to go to a social activity twice a week, can work wonders to help you to feel more socially connected.

Engage In Real World Relationships

There’s no underestimating how much anxiety singles can feel about going on a first date; with 44% of NCSIR respondents saying that they would use AI to go on virtual dates for them as a proxy if they could! Whilst AI dates in the metaverse will become more common; remember that a person’s willingness to meet you in real life is a key indicator that they are who they say they are. Disregarding any excuses, prioritise people who prioritise you, and who (at least) meet you in person every 1-2 weeks unless there are extenuating circumstances. If the thought of meeting in person creates anxiety, then start by using a video call through the dating app to establish some trust and aim for your first dates to be a short and sweet 90 minutes in a venue that helps you to feel comfortable.

Look For Win-Wins

We all only have so much time in our day, and technology can often make us feel like we’re never fully able to relax. If you feel pushed for time, but want to invest in building your social confidence, then seek win-wins that enable you to socialise and do something that’s enriching to your life. For example, it can feel discouraging to make the effort to go to a single’s event – and there’s no one there you’re attracted to. However, if you go to an exercise class, dance lesson, or public talk on a topic you’re interested in, it’s simply a nice bonus to meet someone.

Think, “What Do I Still Need To Know?”

If you always get ahead of yourself, and react to your desire for a relationship, by racing ahead, keep yourself grounded with the simple question, “what do I still need to figure out about them?” When you meet someone you like it can be tempting to rush in with assumptions, ‘we’re so similar!’, ‘we have exactly the same sense of humour!’ Instead engage caution by thinking about all the boxes you can’t possibly tick until you get to know them better. Do they want the same level of commitment as you? Are they fully trustworthy? Do your values line up? The answer to all of these questions are unknowable, until you’ve been dating someone over a longer period of time.

Do Multi-Dating

Multi-dating can get a bad reputation. However, in 2025 not only are lots of people doing it, it also provides you with a valuable tool to help you take things slowly. Rather than assume commitment, in 2025, you need to have an explicit conversation that you’re exclusive. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Multi-dating doesn’t mean that you have to have 5 lovers at a time, but it does mean you gradually get to know a variety of people. This could be through video chats, quick coffee dates, and your social circles. See the ‘getting to know you’ phase before you commit as vital to working out if this person is right for you; and enjoy having some other options in there for comparison! If multi-dating isn’t for you, make sure you’re on the same page as the people you’re dating so you’re not feeling left out to dry.

Slow It Down

If you know you are prone to wearing your heart on your sleeve, then slowing down the dating process can be a great way to keep your feet on the ground. That might mean for the first month (or two!) of getting to know someone you commit to seeing them once or twice a week, maximum! This will stop you throwing caution (and all your other social plans) to the wind by jumping in at the deep end, with days on end spent with someone you don’t know very well. Equally, if you like someone, and chat online everyday, but they’re dragging their feet about meeting you in real life, see this as a red flag that your relationship may never translate into the real world.

Evaluate your relationship with rejection 

This research also shows (27%) of 25 to 34-year-olds who experience loneliness said they would willingly interact with an AI chatbot if they were feeling lonely. It’s easy to understand why an AI chatbot feels easier than a real-world relationship; the chatbot isn’t going to reject you and will always be available to you when you want it. Unfortunately, outsourcing your needs for companionship to AI is ultimately unrewarding. To help you forge more real-world connections, evaluate your relationship with rejection. Like it or not, rejection is a part of life. However, being rejected rarely means you’re back to square one. Each interaction can teach you about who you are, what you want and things that you want to work on. It’s tough, but feedback is the formula for champions. By gradually changing your mindset around rejection you can fortify yourself to build relationships in the real world.

With a degree in English Literature from the University of Cambridge, Amy is a freelance writer and columnist. At YCB Magazine, she writes about all things lifestyle, travel & wellness.