Being a Father Means Being a Role Model
How fathers can become a role model even if they’ve never had one
According to the Centre for Social Justice, in the UK, an estimated 2.4 million children grow up without a father figure. If you’ve never had a role model, stepping into the role of one may feel overwhelming. But with determination, support, and the right tools, it’s entirely possible to break the cycle and create a positive legacy for your children.
Being a role model doesn’t mean being perfect. Children benefit most from a father who is consistently present, both physically and emotionally. We often think it’s the big things, holidays, expensive gifts, grand gestures, that children remember. But more often, it’s the small, consistent actions that have the longest-lasting impact. Showing up to school plays, helping with homework, or simply keeping your word creates memories that children cherish for a lifetime.
Acknowledge your past and commit to growth
If you’ve faced challenges, such as incarceration or a lack of positive examples growing up, acknowledge those experiences but don’t let them define your future. Use them as motivation to break the cycle for your children.
Share age-appropriate stories about your past struggles and what you’ve learned. This honesty can inspire resilience and teach your children about the value of growth.
Learn what you don’t know
If you feel unprepared for fatherhood, seek resources and education. Parenting classes, books, and online courses can help fill gaps in your knowledge about child development, communication, and discipline.
Programmes like the UK’s Fathers Inside have shown that providing incarcerated fathers with parenting education reduces reoffending rates and improves family relationships.
Be a positive example
Children watch what you do more than they listen to what you say. Demonstrate qualities like respect, responsibility, and kindness in your daily actions.
Model healthy behaviours, such as managing stress constructively, maintaining a strong work ethic, and treating others with respect.
Build a support network
Fatherhood isn’t a solo journey. Surround yourself with supportive people, family members, friends, or community groups, who can provide guidance and encouragement.
Join local fatherhood support groups or community initiatives that focus on strengthening family relationships. These groups can offer practical advice and a sense of camaraderie.
The importance of tools and support
For many fathers, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds, the lack of access to tools and resources can be a significant barrier to being a positive role model. Addressing these gaps is essential.
Access to education and training
Education and skills training are critical for fathers looking to improve their circumstances and set an example for their children. Programmes aimed at upskilling fathers, whether it’s through vocational training, financial literacy, or parenting classes, can have a transformative impact.
Emotional and mental health support
Men are often reluctant to seek help for mental health challenges, but addressing these issues is key to being a supportive father. Anxiety, depression, and unresolved trauma can hinder a father’s ability to connect with his children.
Utilise mental health resources, such as counselling or support groups, to address emotional challenges. Many organisations offer free or low-cost services tailored to fathers.
The ripple effect: The impact of positive fatherhood
When fathers step into their role as positive role models, the effects ripple out far beyond their immediate family. Studies show that children with involved fathers are:
43% more likely to earn better grades in school.
50% less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol.
75% less likely to have a child in their teenage years.
For fathers who were previously incarcerated, the benefits are equally significant. Rebuilding family relationships has been shown to reduce recidivism rates, while also providing children with a stable, loving environment that mitigates the risks associated with parental absence.
Tips for organisations supporting fathers
To break the cycle of absent fatherhood and promote positive role models, organisations can play a key role:
1. Offer parenting workshops: Equip fathers with the skills they need to connect with and support their children.
2. Create mentorship opportunities: Pair fathers with mentors who can provide guidance and encouragement.
3. Advocate for policy change: Push for policies that support family connections, such as facilitating visitation for incarcerated fathers and offering paid paternity leave.
4. Focus on reintegration support: help fathers transition back into society by providing job training, housing assistance, and mental health services.
Conclusion: Redefining fatherhood, one role model at a time
Becoming a role model when you’ve never had one is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s also one of the most impactful things a father can do. By committing to presence, growth, and learning, fathers can break generational cycles and inspire their children to reach their full potential.
For fathers who feel they’ve made mistakes, it’s important to remember that change is always possible. With the right tools, support, and determination, fathers can not only transform their own lives but also create a brighter future for their children.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Sid Madge is the founder of Meee and the creator of the Counting on Confidence programme, designed to inspire the belief that education and learning are essential for a more fulfilling and positive life. Sid is also the author of the Meee in a Minute series of books, offering 60 simple, actionable ways to transform your life, work, or family life in just 60 seconds.