People find themselves troubled by Imposter Syndrome because they have an innate fear of failure, usually when operating outside our comfort zone or in a competitive arena. Serena Williams, Tom Hanks, Lady Gaga, and even Albert Einstein are all famous sufferers of Imposter Syndrome, and it’s estimated that around 70% of the population is afflicted. Some groups are more prone than others, such as high achievers and entrepreneurs.
Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome include:
• Thinking that your peers are more capable than you are
• Feeling that overworking is the only way to meet expectations
• Not asking questions in meetings
• Downplaying your accomplishments
• Crediting luck for any success you may have
• Holding back from reaching goals you should be able to reach
But Imposter Syndrome exists only in our heads, and there are things we can do to make life a lot easier. Here are a few Imposter Syndrome coping strategies:
Recognise that you’re not alone
We often fail to acknowledge that other people feel exactly the same as we do. Social Media doesn’t help. Very few of us present an honest warts-and-all picture of ourselves. Our accounts are carefully polished; our recycling bins are rammed with dreadful images. But it rarely clicks that everyone else is doing the same thing. And feeling the same way. Do you know who doesn’t suffer from Imposter Syndrome? Genuine imposters.
Don’t be fooled by faux perfection
It is easy to overestimate how skilful or successful other people are. The reality is that everyone else probably feels just as insecure as you do. They’re likely looking at you and wishing they were as calm, confident and successful as you. Don’t compare yourself to others – they could be faking it much more than you are.
Note your accomplishments
Create a list that reminds you of how great you are, and that other people think you’re great too, and refer to this list when you have moments of doubt. This helps reframe your mind and evaporate less helpful thoughts.
Celebrate successes
Celebrating success helps dispel thoughts that we’re undeserving and gives us confidence in our abilities. Be sure to celebrate small wins as well as large ones. Imposter Syndrome sufferers tend to move on too quickly and treat wins with relief rather than taking pride in an achievement and properly marking it.
Share failures
We see other people’s successes but we don’t always notice their flops, whereas we always see our own failures. This gives us a poor perspective and makes us think of ourselves as being less capable in comparison. Opening up with others can help demonstrate that you’re no different and that everyone has the same issues as you do. It can often be easier to speakto strangers than those who know you well.
Reframe failure as a positive
Failure is not a sign of being awful. Failure is a sign that you’re trying to achieve something. You should give yourself credit for this. It’s not easy to succeed the first time out – ask any billionaire or successful inventor. But one thing is certain, if you never try, yes, you’ll never fail, but you’ll also never become successful.
Stop chasing perfection
Being 99% good at something is not a failure. Appreciate that other people may only be capable of doing the same job to 70%. 80% will be good enough, and 90% will be better than most. Don’t think of this as lowering the bar – it’s simply reframing how well you’ve done and what you’ve achieved. Also, many jobs don’t need to be done to 100%. Perfectionists will spend time getting a job from 80% to 100%, but a smarter strategy may be to use that time to do a second task to 80% and get much more done.
Talk about it
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about Imposter Syndrome with others – you may find they’re experiencing the same issues as you. This can give you more confidence and help you see that your thoughts are irrational – particularly when you talk to someone you believe has a good opinion of you.
Grasp life
Success in anything only exists outside your comfort zone, so you need to take action – feel the fear and do it anyway, even if your head is awash with self-doubt. As your comfort zone expands, have confidence in the fact that your levels of anxiety will reduce automatically.
There’s a great quote by the ladies’ fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg, who said: You always look at the woman across the room. And you think, ‘The woman across the room is so confident, so poised and so put together, and so on.’ But that woman is looking at YOU. And for her, YOU are the woman across the room. Everybody’s the same. It’s just a big waste of time to be insecure.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ian Child is a former corporate leader, co-founder of the training company propertyCEO (propertyceo.co.uk) and the author of ‘Your Own Personal Time Machine’, a guide to getting your life back, available exclusively from amazon.co.uk in paperback and e-book.