The outbreak of Covid-19 has led us to a life of staying indoors, at least for now. Whether you’re quarantining alone, with family or with your partner, the likelihood is – you’re getting pretty frustrated. Taking this time to explore your own needs and desires may be exactly what you need.
As a woman, despite how (unnecessarily) taboo the topic may be, you’ve probably watched porn. But the pornography industry is one that is dominated by men, something that has been reflected in the content output for decades. It’s hard to be sex-positive when mainstream porn is so focused on the degradation of women rather than their pleasure, so where does that leave us?
1. “Feminist” pornography
We’ve already talked about mainstream pornography not being the most feminist out there. And it doesn’t always stop when the cameras are off with unethical behaviour also reported behind the scenes. Visit sites like https://camsodareview.com/ to find various adult entertainment services.
But thankfully, more and more creators are ticking all three of those boxes and transforming the industry. Here’s a little round-up of some ethical porn providers:
MakeLoveNotPorn.tv – If you hate the fake moans and unrealistic positions, and if “everyday” sex is what turns you on most, then you’ll love this site. No one is performing, there’s no actors and no “amateurs”. What you see are real people, just like us.
JoyBear – They describe themselves as “very British, very naughty” – we’re intrigued so far! Sex-positive films with strong female characters, what’s not to love?
XConfessions – An amazing crowdsourcing project where people submit confessions, desires and fantasies and each month two are transformed into explicit short films. That’s about as “real” as you can get!
2. Erotica
There’s a reason why erotic novels appeal so much to women. To get all science-y for a minute here, research has shown that 90 percent of women use “mental framing” to help with arousal. And further research indicated that men become more aroused by the content they see, but women on the other hand found their arousal in the context of the story, as opposed to the visual offering of porn.
In other words, women don’t just get turned on by the physical act of sex, but everything that goes on around it. The scene, the stimulation of the senses, the tension and the build-up. We simply can’t resist a bit of chemistry. And that’s why adult romance and erotica are so appealing; it encompasses all of that and so much more. Take erotic subscription service, Victoria Howard, for example, written by women and for women, it gives us an escape from everyday life, and a little bedroom inspiration, of course.
3. Sexting
Write your own mini digital erotic novel. Whether you have a steady long-term partner or you’re dating around, sexting can be a fantastic, not to mention convenient, way to heat things up. Or if you’re on dating apps, it could be the next step in your relationship.
The beauty of being in an era full of tech and social media is that you don’t have to physically be together, to be together. Take your pick of phone sex, FaceTime, or sexting at BangSexting.com to have that special time with your partner.
You’re in control here, so let your imagination run wild and allow your wildest fantasies to come alive.
4. Treat yourself
Personally, some online retail therapy is just the thing to release the tension of staying indoors. And who says you have to be in a relationship to treat yourself to some luxury lingerie? The feeling of matching underwear is one like no other, so why can’t you feel like that everyday? Even if you’re wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, there’s no reason why underneath those layers you can’t also be rocking a hot push-up bra and barely-there undies.
It can be incredibly emboldening and empowering to treat yourself to some lingerie, and wearing it is an amazing form of self-care. You don’t need to be coupled up to boost your self-esteem and feel sexy at the same time. So, go on, treat yo’self.
5. Sultry selfies
Whether you’ve got someone to send them to or not, snapping a few pictures of yourself in the aforementioned lingerie can be incredibly empowering. If you shudder at the thought of seeing yourself so vulnerable on camera, all the more reason to do it! You don’t have to send them to anyone; it can be a real exercise in self love. Why not snap a few pictures and focus on the features you like about yourself. Try taking more pictures that highlight those features.
Loving the skin you’re in and feeling confident can be an incredible turn on.
6. ‘Sexy’ films
Watching erotic movies is an incredible alternative to the standard pornography on the web. There’s more focus on the storyline and the characters to allow tension to build. It’s also a perfect way to explore your fantasies and find out a bit more about what you’re into between the sheets.
There are dozens of erotic movies out there, all in a range of styles. Do your research and find a genre that works for you. Here are some of our favourites:
Secretary (2002) – A dominant lawyer and submissive secretary; it’s almost too cliché. Perfect if you’re partial to a little BDSM
Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – Erotica twisted with a little psychological drama
Basic Instinct (1992) – We all know that scene
Room in Rome (2010) – Steamy same-sex explorations in a Spanish hotel
Cruel Intentions (1999) – Originally based on the French novel Les Liaisons dangereuses
Unfaithful (2002) – Is it erotica? Is it a thriller? Who can tell, we’ll just have to watch it again
The world’s your oyster when it comes to finding something to turn you on. The erotica and pornography industries are no longer dominated by movies made by men for men. With more and more options available, especially if you’re willing to use a little imagination, there’s never been a better time to explore your sexual fantasies.
