Ending the day with a peck is a nightly ritual performed by 70% of couples. What most don’t know is that if your nightly routine includes a bedtime kiss, you’re likely getting a better sleep than those who don’t.
Martin Seeley, CEO and Sleep Expert at MattressNextDay has dug into the science behind a goodnight kiss to reveal why we tend to get a sounder snooze after performing the evening routine.
“Kissing creates a chemical cocktail in our brain, featuring dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which all make us feel amazing and crave more of whatever has given it to us. However, as we’re settling down for the night, these chemicals also help us to reduce the levels of cortisol – the stress hormone – in our body. By increasing dopamine and decreasing cortisol, a goodnight kiss changes the chemical balance in our brains and physically makes us less stressed.” Martin tells us.
“Less stress equates to more sleep. And decreasing cortisol is one of the main processes our bodies go through to prepare for sleep. If your stress levels are too high or you’re full of adrenaline, you’ll find it hard to drift off, but luckily a bedtime kiss will boost you full of the good chemicals and reduce the bad ones.”
A goodnight kiss releases chemical oxytocin – the hormone that makes us feel safe and reassures our hunter-gatherer instincts
Other than keeping you in a routine and helping your brain get ready for sleep, one of the main benefits of a kiss goodnight is a sense of security. “Not just security in your relationship but safety in your surroundings too, which in turn helps your mind and body relax.
Kissing releases – amongst others – the chemical oxytocin. This increases feelings of closeness, intimacy, and importantly, security. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel safe. Feeling safe and secure is essential for getting to sleep faster, and sleeping more deeply. When we feel insecure, our anxiety and adrenaline levels rise, which prevents the production of melatonin.”
If you don’t feel 100% secure in your relationship, or even if you just bickered more than usual during the day, missing a goodnight kiss can mean it’s incredibly difficult to get to sleep. Your thoughts are racing, your adrenaline levels are high, and if you’re used to getting a peck before the lights go off, you’ll be wondering what on Earth is going through your partner’s mind.
“A goodnight kiss will reassure you and help you feel safe and secure. By feeling secure in your relationship, you’ll trust your partner to protect you in the night, which actually goes back to our hunter-gatherer days. Our human instinct is to only sleep when there is zero potential danger, or we feel protected enough, so this validation of closeness will reassure your brain that you are safe no matter what.” Says Martin.
Kissing can be essential for your brain’s nightly routine
In fact, some people say they can’t sleep well at all if they haven’t had a peck from their partner – putting them out of routine and throwing off their bedtime habits. If your partner kisses you every night, your brain will associate it with getting ready for sleep, and if you don’t get your smooch, your brain will be prevented from engaging in its daily winddown process.
Martin adds: “If you do something every single night before bed, your brain will begin to associate it with the production of melatonin – the sleep hormone. For example, if you like to read before bed, picking up your book will trigger a response in your brain as it anticipates sleep. The same goes with a goodnight kiss – if your partner rolls over for a peck at around the same time every night, your brain will come to expect it. And if you don’t get one? Your brain has to figure out on its own when to start settling down for sleep, which might take longer.”
